Fat Man on a Diet

No the band isn’t causing me any problems… well none I’m not aware of and prepared for. Nope this time it’s my back – again.

It seems whenever I lose weight. my back starts to hurt. I know I have an underlying problem with my spine which was one of the reasons I knew I needed to lose the weight, howerver the ‘instability’ means that as I lose weight I lose something that keeps the thing in place.

After a few kilos drop off… it starts to hurt – badly.

No doubt it will clear itself up in time but it’s never something I look forward to.

In the past the only way to ‘cure’ it, or at least relieve the pain, has been to put the weight back on… but this time that isn;t an option so I’ll have to persevere until something happens. Exactly what that ’something’ will be is a mystery right now, but I live in hope.

I think perhaps that great champion of behavioural psychology, the late, B. F. Skinner, would not have been unduly suprised by the reaction I had to a ‘gastric episode’ I experienced last night.

To recap a little… I’ve been on what is pretty much a liquid diet for the last 6 weeks and to be quite honest it’s getting a little ’stale’… actually it’s been *very* boring!! Just to compund the misery, whilst I’ve been drinking watery soups and thinned yoghurts etc, the rest of the family has discovered the delights and rewards of cooking their own meals and have made themselves some excellant meals.

Naturally, since our living area is one large room, the aromas from food they’ve produced has wafted over to me and at times made me quite ravenous! Can’t complain of course, they need to eat.

Last nights meal was no exception to their new found expertise, and a dish of steamed marinated salmon with fried rice was on the menu. Because this week I should be beginning the ‘puree’ stage of the new diet – and because I have virtually no resistance to temptation with regards food – I felt it was safe to try a ‘well chewed’ teaspoon of the salmon. Just for good measure and for no good sustainable reason, I also added a few tablespoons of the fried rice mixture to my soup – telling myself it was just to add a little bulk. All went well and I had no problems… except for a pleasant feeling of satiety.

Then we went to bed. Well actually *the wife* went to bed and I tidied up a little before leaving. While meandering through the kitchen I noticed they’d left out some of the rice dish so thought I’d quietly scoff a couple of tablespoons before going upstairs. Bad idea.

Within seconds I was getting really *intense* burning pains in my chest giving me a clue perhaps how a heart attack feels. The attack was probably brought on by the peristalic waves in my oesophagus trying to force the food into the tiny space my stomach occupies… and failing.

I spat out the remainder of the food in my mouth and desperately fought the waves of nausea washing over me trying not to be sick knowing what the potential results of *that* exercise might be!

For 10 minutes or so I struggled and strained against the sheer agony whilst I formulated some sort of excuse strategy in case the wife came to find where I was. Luckily she didn’t notice I was delayed so once I’d recovered sufficiently I controlled the external symptoms of my stupidity and slowly climbed the stairs a sadder but wiser individual!

However, over the next few hours as I lay in bed with my stomach twisted and coiling inside me, I reflected on just how effective aversion therapy can be. I can assure you it will be a *long* time before I do something like that again!!

There is possibly some confusion out in the wider community about why this site is a part of the ‘Low Carb Webring’ since it would appear to be wholly dedicated to a physically moderated regime not one specifically aimed at reducing intake of particular foodstuffs. The reason is quite straightforward. Simply the two *are* intimately linked.

For people like myself who are in all honestly just unable resist eating foods highly laden with carbohydrates the Gastric Band is an avenue of last hope. I’ve no idea whether my (very real) addiction to these foods is generated by psychological or physical needs but the result is the same… morbid obesity!

Having found myself unable to resist these foods *even during the run up to the operation itself* I see no contradiction in advocating the low carb diet as the best way to control diet for those capable of following it!

And we have to remember than after my current physical issues have subsided (unusual as they are for Gastric Bandits) I will still have to maintain a healthy dietary lifestyle if I want to maintain not only the weight loss but just to maintain health!

Once I’m back eating ‘normal’ food… albeit in reduced quantity… I will have to ensure that my diet is not only balanced, but consists of good quality ingredients that provide all the nutrients my body needs to function. Foods with a high carbohydrate content simply won’t do this. We’ll no doubt discuss this more as the weeks go by and I begin to eat ‘real’ food again.

It’s taking me a while to get back ‘into’ diet mode despite knowing this *is* my ‘last chance’. Still I *am* at least in there struggling along. The headaches have stopped though the ravenous hunger still has a few more days to run. I’ve not given in to it… yet… but while I stuck to the 150 grams of steamed chicken breast last night, I *did* rather overdo it on the cooked veg!!

While the headaches have stopped… they’ve been replaced by other aches. For a start I’ve started walking again. Nowhere near as far or as fast as previously, my back won’t let me, but I *am* doing it. What I’ve been doing is walking for 50 mins or so over to the library in the local town centre. If this wasn’t enough (which it probably isn’t by the way) I’ve been taking an old laptop and all the ancilliary support rubbish I think I need. The total weight of all this is around 10 kilos so whilst I can’t walk too fast… or too far… I *can* at least make the walk count for more by using a lot more energy whilst I’m at it.

I wouldn’t say it’s having a marked effect on my weight… but it isn’t supposed to, well not straight off anyway. The point is currently to build some strengtht in my legs and back muscles so that if (when!!) I start to get the weight off I don’t wrench my back and end up spending months at home, in pain unable to exercise… and with the temptation of a kitchen full of food ever present.

So, the weight is still hovering at the 145 kilo mark… so what. I’m more active than I’ve been for months and be it just a couple of ounces a month… I’m confident it will move slowly in the right direction.

Ok it’s taken me a long time to get there but I think I’ve finally found the secret to weight loss. It’s really simple and can be summed up in two words… don’t rush!

I’m sure most of you out there are just like me in your struggle to get the flab gone and get fit. We are looking at ourselves and want the fat gone now. Well be reassured and learn that it just isn’t gonna happen *now*. It takes time!

Getting the weight on took time… getting it off takes time. maybe not as long as it took to gain it but almost certainly longer than you are wishing or hoping. The point is it *can* be done… just not quickly. And that’s been one of my fundamental mistakes.

More on this soon… right now… I’m going out for a walk. Exercise is useful. The sun is shining, I have a new camera. Walking is good.

I just checked the early entries in the blog, the second to be exact, and discovered that today I weigh exactly what I weighed… a year ago.

What a waste of effort!

Still we’re on the move… as is the weight. Perhaps I won’t update the blog quite as regularly as I did, but I *will* keep it up to let you know where my head is so to speak.

Right now I’m off to ‘do’ something. It’s being online – and therefore sitting – for so much of my time that has partially caused this problem so I’m off to vacuum if nothing else!

Tomorrow the intention is to make a start doing what I’ve said I was going to do for some weeks, pack my laptop into a ‘trolley’ and walk over to the local library, about 20 mins or so, and then sit, read, write, listen to/copy CD’s or DVD’s… or whatever. Whatever I do, at least this way I’m out of the house, and out of the kitchen.

Without the gym work I can’t promise the weight will fall as rapidly as it did last year but stopping the increase is a first step. Weight loss is the second. Fitness the third. This time, perhaps, I’ll make a real go of it!

Diet isn’t working and I’m dog-tired. Weight is 128.5 kilos.

I need some sleep and a shot of motivation.

Dire day today for anything but ‘family stuff’. Walked the dogs for an hour and settled down to do some work at home (on the computer trying to catch up) then I got a call that one of the kids was hurt so could I collect her from school. Since then it’s been all go… but nothing much in the way of hard exercise!

What’s worse was eating a McDonald’s ‘Caesar Salad Roll’ (if he knew, I’d bet Caesar Cardini would turn in his grave!) and a ‘flat white’ coffee from the Deli… well ok, but I was hungry, was taking the child to be x-rayed and hadn’t taken anything suitable to eat. No doubt something else I’ll regret come tomorrow!!

Focus… I need to focus!!!

Tried to buy more meal replacements this morning only to discover the address I’d been given for the specialists new base of operations doesn’t become operational until Wednesday earliest. Since it took me nearly an hour to find that out after phoning people from outside the building he *should* be occupying I decided to give up and go buy something similar from Woolworths!

So far today I’ve had a ‘coffee shake’ (breakfast), a protein bar (lunch), two carrots (desperation) and numerous sugar free sweeties I bought and keep in the car to keep me feeling there’s a purpose in life. I think I’m coping… but there’s a leg of lamb in the oven ready to roast and *already* I can feel temptation towering over me! It’s going to be hard to keep my calorie intake down to a sensible level with all that meat lying there!

Ok. I rest the chart to todays weight… which is I’m embarrassed to say is 130 kilos in my trainers! I kept the trainers on to make it a bit closer to the real weight as I exercised this morning and I haven’t rehydrated properly…. I still need a few glasses of water yet. I suppose tomorrow morning’s weight will be the real measuring  point.

Still, the 130 kilo weigh-in is a *long* way from the119 kilos I was just before Xmas and shows how far downhill I slipped. However that’s over. The diet is back on, the exercise has started and I’m on the road back.

Just to help things along… I’m off to mow the laws before the rains come back.