Fat Man on a Diet

I may as well fess up now as later to have *totally* screwed this diet. So much so in fact that I’ve dropped out of the Biggest Loser comp this time.

Not only haven’t I *lost* weight I’ve put on kilo after kilo to the extent I’m heavier now than when I started. Ok this is probably due to my not having exervised… and because my back has been hurting because I’ve not moved around much… and well I can name any number of excuses , but the truth is I’m back addicted to those high-carb foods again.

Yes it’s my own fault, but it *does* creep up on you insidiously until you end up sucked in worse than ever. I suppose it’s the nature of addiction but whatever the cause the effect is the same… in this case, excess weight piling on.

Question is how to deal with it.

The obvious answer is stop eating, but of course as with any addiction it is easy to say it but to put it into practice isn’t as simple as it appears.

For starters I’ll need to get out of the house. I mean *right* out of the house for the larger part of the day. While I’m around food and easy access to it the temptations is always there and as I’ve said ad nauseum I can resist anything except temptation.

This isn’t going to happen for a few days at least. I’ve got to tie up loose ends first and that will take a few days at least… maybe another week. But I think I ought to tell myself that I can *only* have that one more week and then that’s it. Anything not finished has to be done at night when the rest of the family is there to haul me out of the kitchen.

Other than that… well get back on the diet, and just play it by ear I think.

Ahhh… those last words again. I was really sure I was on the way back to the gym a few days ago… how long it seems. Immediately afterwards I got hit by the flu and I’m still falling over.

I suppose I’ll get back to it soon enough but still I feel dreadful. I’ve not put on quite as much weight as I’d feared but I’m still not losing it and that was the point and purpose. I’m way off ‘the diet’ eating anything I feel like including all the high carb stuff I *know* is bad for me… my head just isn’t in the right space right now.

Yesterday I was even considering nagging the wife into letting me go for stomach banding! Still, bad as I feel I’m *not* as bad as I was so maybe if I leave things alone and don’t try to do anything silly, by Monday I’ll be feeling workish again. I do hope so.

The back is all bar right now so I think tomorrow I’ll be ready to get back to the gym and start walking again. Be too easy to just quit altogether, tho I think the competition is out the door already. I’ve lost nothing since it started and actually put weight on the last week or two.

Still, the intent is there so if I can maintain my current weight it’ll be enough… not what I want, but better than getting back to the previous size!!

So. Basically I’m here… just… and keeping it together… just

I so much hate having a bad back!

Back? Well I’m here which is a start. Here we are, have passed and I’m finally posting again. My back has been killing me for weeks, possibly literally who knows. It still hurts but the exercises I’ve been doing seem to have eased the problems a little. How long for is anyone’s guess but I am at least mobile again!

Either way I’ve not been anywhere and I’ve done even less. I missed the second weigh-in for the competition but it makes no difference really, the weight piled on in the interim and I’m now 131.0 kilos.

However, today for the first time in weeks I forced myself out for a walk with the dogs. It might have only been a short one, maybe a half hour or so, but it was the principle that counts. I wouldn’t say “I’m back” by any means but it was a good first step… first *few* steps!